5 Things You Should Never Say to a Bride

As soon as a woman becomes engaged, it seems like all sorts of people come out of the woodwork to voice their opinions. Everyone from the bride’s mother and best friends to strangers she hardly knows will have some little pearl of wisdom they feel compelled to share. A lot of these things would be better left unsaid, however! These are five things that you should never say to a bride.

One: You’ll Lose Weight Before The Wedding. This is something I once overheard a bride’s mother telling her in a bridal salon as she tried to convince her to buy a too-small dress on sale. Maybe the bride will lose weight before the wedding, but what if she doesn’t? And who needs that kind of pressure anyway? No one who has the bride’s best interests in mind will try to talk her into buying a wedding dress that will only look good if she drops three dress sizes!

Two: Is That What You Picked? This is usually followed by a doubting, “Well, I guess if you like it….”. This is frenemy speak for, “How on earth could you think that looks good?”. Whether the comment is about the wedding dress, veil, bridesmaid dresses and jewelry, or worst of all, the groom, it is bound to make the bride feel like you think she made a bad choice. Friends do not undermine a bride’s confidence. Either speak up enthusiastically in support of the bride’s choices, or say nothing.

Three: Did You Know That 50% of Marriages End In Divorce? First of all, this is a misleading statistic. While it is true that about half as many divorces are recorded each year as marriages, that statistic does not take into account the other marriages already in existence. Furthermore, the divorce rate varies considerably based on individual circumstances (people married under the age of 20, for instance, are far more likely to divorce than those who wait until they are older). Most importantly, what a rotten thing to say to someone about to tie the knot! Naysayers, please keep your dour thoughts to yourselves.

Four: Are You Getting Married Because You Have To? First of all, if the bride has a bun in the oven but has not yet made it public, no one has any right to pry into her private business. Secondly, even if she is pregnant, the implication that the groom only asked her to marry him because he had to is not at all nice; the implication is that given a choice he would not choose to be with her – how hurtful! Third of all, what if the answer is yes? Do you really think the bride will be happy about it and want to have to discuss it? A simple “best wishes” will suffice, even if you suspect the wedding is a shotgun affair.

Five: Do Whatever You Want – It’s Your Day. This is the very worst thing that anyone can say to a bride, because it leads to all sorts of selfish entitled behavior. If the wedding is truly only the bride’s day, it gives her license to completely overlook the needs of anyone else, including her guests, her bridesmaids, and even her groom! When brides get the idea into their heads that only their happiness counts, they use it as an excuse for all sorts of rude behavior, whether it is neglecting to give bridesmaid jewelry gifts, skipping the thank you notes, having a cash bar, or demanding cash gifts only. If you really want to help the bride in your life, encourage her to keep others in mind even as she plans for her special day.

Photo Credit: The Frisky